Wednesday, August 26, 2009


My (Real) Resume

That is not my real name
My name is
My name is

I would not be an asset to your company
Nor to anything or anybody else
I am a dreamer
A waster of time
A thinker of long thoughts
A player of solitaire

I only want you to hire me
Because I need the money
And I only need the money
Because as Grace Paley says
Everyone has to make some kind of deal to survive

I started out the same as you
A baby--fat and confident
My mother was a receding marble statue
My grandmother warm but too soon gone

I have a terrible stutter
And I can't hear very well
I don't like the telephone
I never learned to type without looking
So I can't type very fast

I think we are on a continuum
Even you with your manager's lenses

I want to know why
The corporate mentality sucks so bad
Why it expects people
To do without windows
Or decent lunches
Or talking to one another

I want to know why
When there are 713 references in the Bible
To feeding the poor, being kind to strangers
And protecting orphans
You only focus on one in Leviticus
Which is an instruction to the priest class anyway

These are the things I'm interested in
And which I will secretly research
On the company computers

I'm smart and I'll do your work
But don't expect me to care about it.

Source: Elizabeth Romero. "My (Real) Resume." Real Change (Vol. 16, No. 34), July 29, 2009. p. 10.

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