Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Selections from the Devil's Dictionary
Here's are a few timely selections from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary:
CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
DISTANCE, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs, and keep.
HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.
JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
MAD, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any madhouse in the land; yet for aught he knows to the contrary, instead of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers he may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many thoughtless spectators.
PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.
PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
PRECEDENT, n. In Law, a previous decision, rule or practice which, in the absence of a definite statute, has whatever force and authority a Judge may choose to give it, thereby greatly simplifying his task of doing as he pleases. As there are precedents for everything, he has only to ignore those that make against his interest and accentuate those in the line of his desire. Invention of the precedent elevates the trial-at-law from the low estate of a fortuitous ordeal to the noble attitude of a dirigible arbitrament.
REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it — this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order.
TRIAL, n. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant, the prisoner, or the accused. If the contrast is made sufficiently clear this person is made to undergo such an affliction as will give the virtuous gentlemen a comfortable sense of their immunity, added to that of their worth. In our day the accused is usually a human being, or a socialist, but in mediaeval times, animals, fishes, reptiles and insects were brought to trial. A beast that had taken human life, or practiced sorcery, was duly arrested, tried and, if condemned, put to death by the public executioner. Insects ravaging grain fields, orchards or vineyards were cited to appeal by counsel before a civil tribunal, and after testimony, argument and condemnation, if they continued in contumaciam the matter was taken to a high ecclesiastical court, where they were solemnly excommunicated and anathematized. In a street of Toledo, some pigs that had wickedly run between the viceroy's legs, upsetting him, were arrested on a warrant, tried and punished. In Naples an ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed. D'Addosio relates from the court records many trials of pigs, bulls, horses, cocks, dogs, goats, etc., greatly, it is believed, to the betterment of their conduct and morals. In 1451 a suit was brought against the leeches infesting some ponds about Berne, and the Bishop of Lausanne, instructed by the faculty of Heidelberg University, directed that some of "the aquatic worms" be brought before the local magistracy. This was done and the leeches, both present and absent, were ordered to leave the places that they had infested within three days on pain of incurring "the malediction of God." In the voluminous records of this cause celebre nothing is found to show whether the offenders braved the punishment, or departed forthwith out of that inhospitable jurisdiction.
VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
DISTANCE, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs, and keep.
HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.
JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
MAD, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any madhouse in the land; yet for aught he knows to the contrary, instead of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers he may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many thoughtless spectators.
PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.
PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
PRECEDENT, n. In Law, a previous decision, rule or practice which, in the absence of a definite statute, has whatever force and authority a Judge may choose to give it, thereby greatly simplifying his task of doing as he pleases. As there are precedents for everything, he has only to ignore those that make against his interest and accentuate those in the line of his desire. Invention of the precedent elevates the trial-at-law from the low estate of a fortuitous ordeal to the noble attitude of a dirigible arbitrament.
REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it — this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order.
TRIAL, n. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant, the prisoner, or the accused. If the contrast is made sufficiently clear this person is made to undergo such an affliction as will give the virtuous gentlemen a comfortable sense of their immunity, added to that of their worth. In our day the accused is usually a human being, or a socialist, but in mediaeval times, animals, fishes, reptiles and insects were brought to trial. A beast that had taken human life, or practiced sorcery, was duly arrested, tried and, if condemned, put to death by the public executioner. Insects ravaging grain fields, orchards or vineyards were cited to appeal by counsel before a civil tribunal, and after testimony, argument and condemnation, if they continued in contumaciam the matter was taken to a high ecclesiastical court, where they were solemnly excommunicated and anathematized. In a street of Toledo, some pigs that had wickedly run between the viceroy's legs, upsetting him, were arrested on a warrant, tried and punished. In Naples an ass was condemned to be burned at the stake, but the sentence appears not to have been executed. D'Addosio relates from the court records many trials of pigs, bulls, horses, cocks, dogs, goats, etc., greatly, it is believed, to the betterment of their conduct and morals. In 1451 a suit was brought against the leeches infesting some ponds about Berne, and the Bishop of Lausanne, instructed by the faculty of Heidelberg University, directed that some of "the aquatic worms" be brought before the local magistracy. This was done and the leeches, both present and absent, were ordered to leave the places that they had infested within three days on pain of incurring "the malediction of God." In the voluminous records of this cause celebre nothing is found to show whether the offenders braved the punishment, or departed forthwith out of that inhospitable jurisdiction.
VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Labels: art and literature, critical thinking, history, Justice, law, patriotism, politics, United States, voting, words
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Webster's on "Anti-Semitism"--An Update (sort of)
More than three years ago, I sent out a message about the American Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee's (ADC) March 2004, Action Alert: "Demand Merriam Webster Correct Definition of 'anti-Semitism' ". Here's part of what I wrote back then: "I heard about this a couple of days ago ... I simply did not believe it at first. ... I also called the library today and asked the librarian to read me the definition of "anti-Semitism" in Webster's Third New International Dictionary. They had the 1993 edition and the definition she read to me was almost exactly the same as the one that appears below."
The definition is:
Main Entry: Anti-semitism
Function: Noun
Usage: usually capitalized S
1: Hostility toward Jews as a religious or racial minority group often accompanied by social, economic, and political discrimination — compare RACISM
2: Opposition to Zionism : Sympathy with opponents of the state of Israel
This story was covered by the Washington Post in 2004 (you can find a copy of "Dictionary Urged to Delete 'False' Definition of Anti-Semitism," archived by the ADC here). But before that the Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs cited the definition approvingly in 2001 as part of an orchestrated propaganda offensive against the World Conference against Racism in Durban, South Africa. The good news is that Webster's may fix the problem. According a 2005 article in the Jordan Times, quoting spokesperson Arthur Bicknell, "it is 'highly likely' that the next version of this dictionary will not include any reference of Zionism in the definition. He noted that the collegiate desk version of the dictionary has never included this less-used sense of the word."
In the meantime, you can keep the pressure on by dropping a line to Merriam-Webster. Below is the updated action item from the ADC. As of May 2006, Morse was still the man-in-charge:
The definition is:
Main Entry: Anti-semitism
Function: Noun
Usage: usually capitalized S
1: Hostility toward Jews as a religious or racial minority group often accompanied by social, economic, and political discrimination — compare RACISM
2: Opposition to Zionism : Sympathy with opponents of the state of Israel
This story was covered by the Washington Post in 2004 (you can find a copy of "Dictionary Urged to Delete 'False' Definition of Anti-Semitism," archived by the ADC here). But before that the Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs cited the definition approvingly in 2001 as part of an orchestrated propaganda offensive against the World Conference against Racism in Durban, South Africa. The good news is that Webster's may fix the problem. According a 2005 article in the Jordan Times, quoting spokesperson Arthur Bicknell, "it is 'highly likely' that the next version of this dictionary will not include any reference of Zionism in the definition. He noted that the collegiate desk version of the dictionary has never included this less-used sense of the word."
In the meantime, you can keep the pressure on by dropping a line to Merriam-Webster. Below is the updated action item from the ADC. As of May 2006, Morse was still the man-in-charge:
Please contact John Morse, President and Publisher of Merriam-Webster, and demand that the company formally repudiates senses two and three in the outrageous definition of anti-Semitism that is contained in the "Third New International Dictionary." Please point out thatYou can use the online form at:
- this issue must be dealt with at once and not some time in the next ten years, and
- it is a simple matter for Merriam-Webster to begin to correct the error and repair the damage by issuing a public statement which repudiates senses two and three.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/info/contact.htm
or mail to:
Merriam-Webster, Inc.
47 Federal Street
P.O. Box 281
Springfield, MA 01102
or:
Tel: (413) 734-3134
Fax: (413) 731-5979
TALKING POINTS:
ADC has recently sent a letter to Merriam-Webster demanding that the company take steps to correct the definition of "anti-Semitism" in its "Third New International Dictionary," which was recently reprintined. The definition reads: "1) hostility toward Jews as a religious or racial minority group, often accompanied by social, political or economic discrimination (2) opposition to Zionism (3) sympathy for the opponents of Israel." The letter from ADC Communications Director Hussein Ibish points out that:
"By failing to state for the record that the term will definitely be corrected in future editions Merriam-Webster gives the continued appearance of actually supporting the current definition. Moreover, reprinting the Third in 2002 raises the possibility that it will be years before another edition will appear, meaning that for the foreseeable future, Merriam-Webster will be legitimating and promoting a definition of anti-Semitism that:
a) Merriam-Webster itself does not believe is accurate;
b) Conflates the first, accurate definition with two inaccurate ones, thereby undermining and even trivializing the very concept of anti-Semitism and damaging efforts to combat prejudice and discrimination against Jewish groups and individuals;
c) Smears and impugns the motives of all those who support the human and political rights of Palestinians;
d) Undermines the efforts of Jewish groups and individuals working for Mid-East peace;
e) Stigmatizes perfectly legitimate political opinions and activities."
Friday, April 20, 2007
Self -Appointed Word Cops
I don't mind being told or reminded that a particular word or phrase may be insensitive or oppressive but people who make such assertions ought to at least know what they're talking about. One is reminded of the case of ignorance run rampant in 1999 in Washington DC over the use of the word "niggardly." Recently, someone I know asserted that the word "gyp"--as in to cheat--is racist and that "rag"--as in to tease or berate--is sexist.
Now, it is commonly believed that gyp is a slur derived from the misnomer Gypsy--a reference to the Romani people--but, according to the six reference works I consulted during a recent visit to the local library, this is entirely speculative and there is no etymological evidence to sustain it. The Oxford English Dictionary quotes the following usage from 1819: "My bed-maker, whom we call a gyp, from a Greek word signifying a vulture, runs away with everything he can lay his hands on." The Greek word for vulture is, in fact, γύπας--transliterated as gy'pas--and gyps is the name of a genus of vultures (by contrast, the Greek word for Gypsy is τσιγγάνος, transliterated as tsigga'nos). Other possible etymological sources and corresponding historical usages are given in the reference works but none are derived from Gypsy.
There is even less evidence that the verb "rag" is sexist, although the usage is of uncertain origin, the reference works don't even speculate upon a misogynistic etymology. Presumably, the word cop thinks "ragging" is akin to "on the rag," which I would agree is probably misogynist though I haven't checked the etymology (and don't have any plans to--it's not a phrase I would ever use). The Barnhart Dictionary of Etymology suggests a relationship between rag in the sense of "annoy, tease, torment" with the Scottish word ballarag.
So, all you word cops out there, before you police someone else's language please make sure there is a good reason for you to open your mouth.
Now, it is commonly believed that gyp is a slur derived from the misnomer Gypsy--a reference to the Romani people--but, according to the six reference works I consulted during a recent visit to the local library, this is entirely speculative and there is no etymological evidence to sustain it. The Oxford English Dictionary quotes the following usage from 1819: "My bed-maker, whom we call a gyp, from a Greek word signifying a vulture, runs away with everything he can lay his hands on." The Greek word for vulture is, in fact, γύπας--transliterated as gy'pas--and gyps is the name of a genus of vultures (by contrast, the Greek word for Gypsy is τσιγγάνος, transliterated as tsigga'nos). Other possible etymological sources and corresponding historical usages are given in the reference works but none are derived from Gypsy.
There is even less evidence that the verb "rag" is sexist, although the usage is of uncertain origin, the reference works don't even speculate upon a misogynistic etymology. Presumably, the word cop thinks "ragging" is akin to "on the rag," which I would agree is probably misogynist though I haven't checked the etymology (and don't have any plans to--it's not a phrase I would ever use). The Barnhart Dictionary of Etymology suggests a relationship between rag in the sense of "annoy, tease, torment" with the Scottish word ballarag.
So, all you word cops out there, before you police someone else's language please make sure there is a good reason for you to open your mouth.
